Aries: March 21 to April 19
Power of persuasion! Albeit standing in front of the store and talking some random stranger into buying you beer. Or explaining the benefits of a week-long fishing trip; this so you may gain approval from your spouse. The stars read Aries that you will need these powers for some unforeseen reason next time out. Ready yourself!
Taurus: April 20 to May 20
It’s a dangerous time to be lazy Taurus. The game will slip away from right under your snout. You’re aligned with the constellation Hammocious Loungus. Get your primordial hunter gatherer face on and go out and club something.
Gemini: May 21 to June 20
What a dream! We are in awe over those professional fools who make wads of dough for just doing the sports they do. The stars are in your favor this week Gemini! Take that step across the threshold and make plans to turn your dreams into reality. The stars want to remind you that a goal without a plan is just a wish. Stop wishing and start planning.
Cancer: June 21 to July 22
This one’s a tough one this week Cancer. It’s the universe’s Adopt a Liberal week. That’s right. Go out; befriend a Lib. Be patient with your Liberal. Your first inclination will be to rub his or her’s nose in it BUT hold back! Exchange ideas. Exchange beliefs. Listen and you will be listened to. This will pay off in spades around election time.
Leo: July 23 to August 22
Lick your wounds Leo. Don’t mope around over a missed target, broken lines, miss haps, lost romances or other miss haps or missed opportunities. Buck up and buck out! Have a beverage in a quiet spot and ponder the lessons.
Virgo: August 23 to September 22
Take the Milky Way’s example. The Milky Way is a vast network of stars. Network like a maniac this week Virgo. Networking today will lead to prime hunting grounds or fishing holes next fall. And it can lead to you’re the love of your life.
Libra: September 23 to October 22
PRACTICE! Libra, the stars are screaming to practice and be proficient with the tools you have. A new fishing pole is not going to improve your casting. A new scope is not going to help you shoot straight (unless the old scope has taken some hits). Practice with the gear you have and you’ll improve vastly. And save a buck or two.
Scorpio: October 23 to November 21
Go out to your favorite grounds without any gear save your cooler and a chair. Listen and meditate like a Buddhist monk. By Buddhist monk, the stars really like an ancient huntsman…wearing camouflage. I don’t know if it’ll get you any game. But the planets seem to think it’ll lower your blood pressure.
Sagittarius: November 22 to December 21
Think bold like Magellan! Or Columbus for that matter! When planning for future trips, think about seeking exotic game. The stars read that it is time for the Sagittarius to think outside the box. If you’re from the north, go south for the gators! If you’re from the south, go for the caribou (in winter). Expand your universe.
Capricorn: December 23 to January 19
This reading is for the Capricorn Anglers out there. I say this because Capricorn’s younger nephew (the constellation Capricorn Nephewus Fishius) is strong on the horizon. Getting to the point, your fishing lures are like your children. From their first cast all the way to scoring the game winning touchdowns, you have memories. You’ve snagged many good memories but watch out for snags under the surface. Logs… be wary of logs next time out. If not, your weekend might end up with a broken line and a broken heart.
Aquarius: January 20 to February 18
Use your sixth sense next time out Aquarius. Focus it down range. Like some superhero empathy, think about where the bullet might go when you fire. Or where the line will go when you cast. Taking heed to the stars preaching will help you keep bullets out of the farmer’s house, keep law enforcement for asking questions you don’t want to answer and keep the lures in your tackle box.
Pisces: February 19 to March 20
Bring oil. Don’t know why. The stars say to just bring extra oil. And a jack. At least a two ton bottle jack. Unless there’s a three quarter ton truck involved. Then get the four and a half ton bottle jack. Make sure it’s a bottle jack because the stars say the farm jack just “ain’t gonna cut it”.